intoxicated sobriety

on being a big sister

I grew up as an only child. For a large chunk of my childhood I was a loner, mostly kicking it with adults - my mom, aunt, grandparents, uncles, etc. So when at the age of 7, my aunt announced that she was having a baby I was hit with a barrage of mixed emotions culminating in the heady fact that I was going to be a big sister at last. Now some may argue that getting a cousin is entirely different from becoming a sister, but I beg to differ, at least in my case. I've been in that kid's life since before he was even born and I'm not planning on going anywhere. I helped to shop for his baby things, read baby care books, changed tons of diapers, shook up bottles of milk - I was totally a mini-mom. Now I look at him and he's suddenly become this guy, who's taller than me, speaks in an alien manly voice, and is clearly on his way to making life difficult for the women of his generation. It totally freaks me out because I could have sworn it wasn't that long ago when I used to watch him riding around in his yellow little tikes car. But I don't mind the change too much. He's gotten pretty cool and the days of us wanting to kill each other are pretty much over. Nowadays, we actually enjoy hanging out with each other - we like the same music, tv shows, and movies. But I'm still a mini-mom. There are no more baby bottles to shake up these days, but the responsibility is still there. I worry about whether I'm a good enough role model. I worry about how he's doing in school and if he's going to get into a great college. And I'm still incredibly protective. But that's just the way big sisters are, I guess.

posted by Chrissy @ 9:31 PM