Monday, February 28

Stupidity Strikes

Whenever she's annoyed with me, my mom tells me: "For someone who's so smart, you do such stupid things." Now I agree with her. Did something so damned stupid today. Arrrggghhh....

But Izzy made me feel so much better. :) Thanks so much dear! You're the best. Thanks for sharing your sablay story, and for all the comforting words, and for our creepy same wavelength moment. :P Now I don't feel like banging my head on the wall as much.

Sunday, February 27

Aftermath

Im so incredibly scrambled. I got home at 2:30, after a night of drinking and i went straight to bed. Now I'm wide awake. Why is it that alcohol won't let me get any decent sleep?? I guess its just as well, because I have an early morning meeting. Its a Sunday, and my obsessive compulsive groupmates won't let it be. I should be sleeping in, sleeping off what's starting to look like a pretty mean hangover, but instead I have to stagger to Mcdo at 8 am. Damn.

Haha..note to Cza, I only managed to stay away from alcohol for one night. Hope you're doing a better job of abstaining than I am. Looks like you are. Keep it up girl. Wag kang gumaya sa akin.

I could say I'm staying away from Tanduay and Empoy and Grand Matador for some time, but I know I'll only be kidding myself. So there's no point. Besides, the liquor-induced headaches are all worth it. I would never trade-in the nights I have for anything. Especially tonight.

Saturday, February 26

Resisting Temptation

Tonight is detox night. This week has been about beer, rum and wine. Not totally, but they definitely made their presence felt. So tonight, I stayed away from liquor. Kind of hard when you have a bottle of Emperador in front of you, but I managed. That says a lot about my willpower.

Monday, February 21

Late-night ramblings

As usual my sense of time is warped again. I just woke up and it looks like Im not going to be getting back to sleep anytime soon.

I had an accounting exam yesterday morning and my weekend was wrecked. I spent my entire Saturday studying and solving practice problems. After 8 straight hours of doing that, I just wanted to bang my head on the wall. Try staring at numbers all day, trying to make sense of them, and you'll find yourself going insane as the hours progress. So there I was, pacing back and forth, shaking from all the coffee I imbibed, getting more paranoid by the minute. I had to get out. So i dropped by a friend's party in Sikatuna. I was there for only 45 minutes but it was exactly what I needed. Was back at home by midnight, studied 'til 3, slept 'til 6 and studied again 'til 9. Not that all that studying did me any good. Everyone who took the exam came out feeling dazed. A lot of the problems seemed so easy, but the thing with accounting is, nothing is ever what it seems.

I despise people who want to discuss every detail of an exam the moment they get out of the room. It's as if they spent the last 5 minutes memorizing their answer to every question so that they could ask everyone else if they had the same answer. Get over yourselves.

After that ordeal, I hung out all afternoon in Sikatuna. Discovered that Ren and Stimpy is the best cure for an accounting-induced headache. Mega laugh-trip. Im a few IQ points poorer, but what the heck?!

The week is over. Despite all the crappy things, I wouldn't change a thing.

Tuesday, February 15

How do i wipe this damned smile off my face?

I have been up since 5 am. I had four classes from 8:30 'til 4:30. I woke up with a mild hangover from drinking a lot of wine last night. I had to sit thru an hour and a half of vicious adolescent violence (had to watch Lord of the Flies for lit class). And it was so hot today. But I still feel so damned happy, and I can't quite put my finger on what it is. I've been catching myself smiling for no apparent reason all day. Gotta stop doin' that. Can't be too obvious. :P

Cza asked me to read her essay for her Fil class. Here's an excerpt: "...kapag nasa magandang lagay ang isang relasyon, nagdudulot ito ng pakiramdam na parang sasabog ka sa kilig habang namumula’t nanginginit ang iyong mga pisngi." Nice goin' Cza... I've been missing that feeling for a long time.


camera shy.. Posted by Hello

The cutest kitten in the world :)

Here's a picture of our new kitten, Enzo. We just got him last night, and it was love at first sight for all of us. We now have 4 cats, 4 dogs, 1 turtle and a handful of fish and we might have another dog on the way. The animals outnumber the people, but we won't have it any other way.

Anyway, I had the best night last night. That's all I'm going to say about it. Gotta draw the line somewhere. :P

Sunday, February 13


dreamin' in her own lil world Posted by Hello

What really matters

My day was incredibly exhausting. My cousins were here this afternoon, and I spent all day playing with them. Where do kids get all their energy? They were running around all afternoon, tearing the house apart and they never slowed down. I, on the other hand, was totally exhausted after two hours with them. I just lay down on the couch and fell asleep. I got to nap for about 10 minutes then I had to go chasing after them again. My mom looked away for one second and Tina, the three-year-old was already out on the balcony. Mom almost had a heart attack. Obviously, we don't have the stamina or the presence of mind to look after three toddlers. But when they had to leave, we kept asking my tita if we could borrow one of them. :P I love those kids to pieces, I don't care if they suck out all of my energy.

The best feeling in the world is having a little kid snuggle up to u and sleep in your arms.


tricia, the toughest four-year-old i know  Posted by Hello

Detox night

I just realized that I've been out more times in this week alone than I have in the entire month of January, and even December come to think about it. Not that I'm complaining. I'd much rather be out of the house having fun than rattling around in this empty house. Anyway, I got home at 11 tonight and I was the first one home. On a Saturday night. Should have stayed out longer.. :P But that's ok. I'm detoxing (is this an acceptable word?) for tonight.

Listening to WIT's EP as I write this. I can't get over how good they are. I haven't heard anything quite like them before. Makes me wanna get up and dance. And that's saying something. Let me just reiterate this: I am now a certified WIT fan. I hope that the other Sikatuna bands will follow with their own EPs soon.


Yay!! My favorite cousins are coming tomorrow. Haven't seen the rugrats for months now. They're super cute but a real handful. Tricia's 4, Tina's 3 and Rem is 1. I'm gonna be spending tomorrow afternoon chasing after 3 boisterous kids. And I'm gonna love every minute.

Saturday, February 12

WIT rocks!!

Just got back from the Whatevuritakes EP Launch at SaGuijo. WIT rocks! They had the whole audience up on their feet grooving to their music. Great music, great company and lotsa liquor. Not quite enuf to get me drunk, but I had a good buzz goin'. I have yet to get raging drunk. Damn my high tolerance. Anyway, this was definitely a great night. Here's to hoping for more nights like tonight.

Thursday, February 10

One sleepless night and a pair of stilettos

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. I learned that way back in high school but I never really appreciated it until the other night. Now I know that if I drink 3 beers, I’ll be up by 3 am and I won’t be able to get back to sleep at all. Just great. So there I was, wide-awake in the wee hours of the morning, trying desperately to get back to sleep. And being the insomniac that I am, I knew I was fighting a losing battle. So I gave up trying. Bad idea. That must have been the longest day of my life. I wasn’t even halfway through my first class before my eyelids started drooping. And I had three more classes to go after that, and a meeting during my lunch period.

So my head was in the fog all day. But that wasn’t it. Being the silly, vanity-driven female that I am, I chose to wear high-heeled sandals to school, because we had to dress up for our report. I got through the first two periods without a hitch, but after lunch, I had to walk to the CAL building for my next class. There it was, the road from BA to CAL, stretched out in front of me mocking me and my choice of footwear. But I had no choice, so I started on my way. I did get there eventually, by putting one foot after another, ignoring the stabbing pain in my feet. After my last two classes (thank God they were in the same building) I had to walk once again to the jeepney stop, and when I got down from the jeepney, I had to walk to the tricycle stop. Relatively short distances, but that day I could have sworn they doubled. My agony didn’t stop there. The fates decided to give me one last kick in the butt. I had to ride on the tiny seat inside the tricycle that doesn’t even qualify as a proper seat because it only supports half of your butt and you have to find something to hold on to, to keep from getting pitched headfirst onto the pavement. I thought to myself, I might as well get in, since I was going to be home in a matter of minutes anyway. Wrong again. The tricycle driver suddenly, decided to take the long route. In the eight years I have been commuting, no tricycle I have ridden has ever passed through that route. Why that day? It was no mere coincidence. The fates conspired to teach me a lesson. And probably to get in a good laugh as well.

Monday, February 7

Drinkin' on a monday afternoon..

What would be a more perfect way to start the week? Hey, I didn't plan on drinking when I woke up this afternoon.. It just happened. The way drinking sessions seem to always do. I blame it all on Flo. She was like, "Inom tayo.." Being the konsitidora that I am, I said yes. Note to people: it doesn't take much to get me to drink. Even if it is a Monday afternoon.

Good thing we found friends to drink with, otherwise we would have had to settle for knocking back beers at home, with just each other as company. Not that that would have been a bad thing but we probably wouldn't have had as good a time as we had. Thanks to the Sikatuna gang for the great company. And thanks to Tribu for providing a great place to drink and chill. That's all it takes to have a good time.

My day would have been perfect had it not been for the dark cloud that's been hangin' over me. All I can say is, manipulation is a cheap trick man, and u better hope that it doesn't backfire, because when it does, I'll be right there laughin' my ass off. But it's ok, I'm not in any hurry. I know it'll happen soon enough. And until then.. well perfection is an overrated concept anyway.

Sunday, February 6

*sigh*

It's 2:36 am. I have a microeconomics exam in exactly 7 hours and 24 mins. I should be asleep by now. Or at least doin' some extra cramming. Instead I'm blogging. Why? Because if I read another page of my boring economics book (my apologies to paul samuelson), i will just have to kill myself. Ive been staring at that book the entire day. Woke up at 1, studied til 4, took a nap, studied again til 2 am. But amidst all that frantic cramming ( i had to study 7 chapters), I managed to squeeze in some quality time with the TV.

I caught this show on Animal Planet, Cell Dogs, where they bring abused and abandoned dogs to American prisons, and have the inmates assume complete care of them, until they are ready to be adopted. The effect was absolutely amazing. Imagine these hardened criminals, who have been locked up for crimes ranging from assault to murder, cuddling puppies and talking baby talk to them. It was such a beautiful thing to see those men and their dogs responding to each other. By the time the show ended I was all choked up. Made me feel sorry for all those people who were never able to realize the joy that dogs, or even any kind of pet can bring into their lives. *sigh*

I was also able to watch Lost In Translation on HBO. It was a good film definitely, but the kind that gives you a hollow feeling inside afterward. I guess I still expect every movie to have a perfect ending. But at least I'm not naive enough to expect life to turn out that way. At least not mine. I've had enough heartbreaks to know that. *sigh again*

Hmm.. tonight seems to be turning into a sighing night for me. I'd better stop here and turn in for the night. 3:26 am... only 6 hours and 34 mins to go.

Saturday, February 5

Riding the Pink Elephant

I know it sounds vulgar but its not. It's a poem I read recently that I really loved.

Riding the Pink Elephant
Maria Aguilar
I ride the pink elephant down / Hallowed corridors of past blasphemies
Scrawled lazily on dim walls / People accuse me in negatives
Their gawking faces like flashbulbs / Exploding in the sacreligion of the time
I ride the pink elephant / Past the huddling in the dark
Of people who whisper / At the circus of my going
Jeering, laughing, crying / At the pink, at the elephant
At the ridiculous impertinence of the act / But though they may point
And try to paint him black / I ride the pink elephant still
Down and away / Convinced in his reality of pinkness
Against the insincerity / Of crowds wallowing in pseudosanctity
Of black and white
My prof in English 11 used this poem for a poetry analysis exam. It just got to me. The poem had such an impact on me that my analysis got a grade of 1.0. :P But seriously, I'm not a fan of poetry at all, but reading this one got me wishing I could write something even half as good.
Sometimes, or even most times, we get too caught up in the idea of conformity. We want to fit in with everyone else, and we lose ourselves in the process. Incidentally, I reread Veronika Decides To Die yesterday, and the book touches on the same issue. In practically all societies, anyone who chooses to act outside the norm is considered crazy, when in reality, they are the ones who are really being true to themselves. We should all be brave enough to ride on the pink elephant.
"God didn't create a single leaf the same as another. But you think its insane to be different..." -Veronika Decides To Die, Paolo Coelho (thanks to Leo for the quote)

My blog lives!

My blog is back. At least it is until I get tired of writing and abandon it again. See, the thing with me is that my writing comes in spurts, not in a continuous flow of ideas. I think my muse ( is there a male counterpart?) is a flighty creature who just drops in and out according to its whims. When it (referring to the muse here) is here my hands can’t keep up with my train of thought. So I just type. I don’t even have to think. Then it stops. Just. Like. That. And I’m stuck with a half-finished story, the ending of which I can’t seem to find. All because my muse decided to go on another flight of fancy. Hmph.

This is so me. Blaming my laziness on some unknown entity. So I’ll face up to it.. I’m just a really lazy (insert derogatory noun here). So there. Not that I plan on doin’ anything about it. Nkakatamad eh. :P

Good day today. Definitely not one of those I-have-no-friends-I-wanna-die kinds of days. I have those sometimes. :P

It was a really long day. Classes from 8:30-4 pm, my only break was from 11:30-1. I was late for my first class so I wasn’t able to grab any breakfast. Not even a lousy glass of water. So by my 2nd class I was already dreaming of liempo from LB. Yum. Had lunch there with Cza, Cat and Gian. Then classes again. Ugh. My last class was pure unadulterated torture. My prof ranted for an entire hour about stuff that was in no way connected to the subject. The subject was Pop Lit, she talked about the depressing state of this nation, complete with her arm banging on the table for emphasis. Talk about digression. Eventually I did get out alive. Barely.

Went down to the parking to hang out with the barkada, then dropped by the pugon for awhile to see Cza and Ja. When I got back one of my friends who I haven’t seen in awhile was there. Yay! We all ate ruffles, sound tripped, went on a roadtrip to get gas, went to Oz and bonded. Corny. But fun. We should definitely do that more.

I hope that I could give this blog a facelift sometime soon. I need ur help Cza!